nick

Hair

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 06:54:27 GMT

I don't have long hair, but I recently let it grow out longer than usual. And I'm considerring just letting it grow out fully.

But I just want to make an observation...

When you have short hair, it doesn't even matter if you dry your hair.

If you have long hair, drying your hair becomes a process. Not only that, how you dry it determines the shape of your head for the rest of the day.

Example:
If you threw an eighties headband on after a shower, your head would form a crazy figure eight shape for the next 24 hours.

Alright, thats all. This is quite possibly the most useless Livejournal post of all time.

The Official Longest Entry In the World

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Sun, 13 May 2007 16:07:37 GMT

FIRST of all, I suggest you expand your browser for this entry. These pictures are BIG.

(not unlike certain PARTS of my anatomy....)

(what? my eyes are huge, mr./mrs. mind-in-the-gutter...)

I decided it was Finally time to chart my travels, and give everyone a vague idea of what I've been doing for the last five months.

Now I could romanticize this whole adventure and tell you what an amazing, earth-shattering, soul-fertilizing time I've had...

However, I don't plan to do that.

Like all things in life, this program has pros and cons..

here's the list (tiffany pon style):
[+] The work we do is fun, and the people I work with are hilarious. Laughter is back in my life.

[+] I've met people from ALL walks of life: A kid from the bronx who got jumped every week, republicans from the drrrrty south, Filipino activists from Virginia, half asian indie kids from South Carolina.
I'm slowly being convinced that everyone is pretty similar, once you get past clothes and musical taste.

[+] I learned how to use HUGE, SCARY powertools, and I can pretty much build a house from the ground up. My future son and I are totally building our house together. If he refuses, I'm beating him.

[+] I'm saving the world in a small way, and making some sweet job connections.

[-] I rarely get a moment alone anymore...I swear to god, there's no privacy in Americorps. If I wanted to masturbate, I couldn't do it....not that I want to masturbate or anything...oh god, I've said too much.

[-] We're up at 5:30 a.m. most mornings running 3 miles. Kill me already.

[-] I miss YOU people, you sweet, sexy bastards.

okay now for a short crappy summary of where I've been...

I started my journey by heading from Sacramento to Santa Catalina Island.

The island was absolutely gorgeous, and we spent our days working on scenic mountain tops.
I remember repelling down the side of nearly Vertical mountain at one point, somehow managing to plant shrubs with my one free hand.

Our team got really close on that little floating pile of dirt...

If anyone has been following the news lately, you'll know that everything we did there probably BURNT to the ground.

So it goes.

I'm not kidding when I say I built an eagle cage...that thing was fucking huge, probably the size of the average living room.
The eagle that belonged inside kept making awkward eye contact with me the entire time.
I was pretty close to asking it out for a drink.

Next stop: Washington D.C.

This was a short trip, we were only there for a week or so. In that time, we managed to hit up a few museums and drink plenty of green beer.

Finally, I ended up HERE in Pascagoula, Mississippi.

Pascagoula is famous for a few things:
1. Jimmy Buffet was born here

2. Second to Roswell, New Mexico...Pascagoula had the largest number of people reporting an alien sighting on the same day. I actually MET someone who was around back then. He said something to the effect of "I was there...on that day...that day in 1974...", and then trailed off mysteriously.

3. Barqs root beer was invented in the next town over...people here drink it for BREAKFAST. What. The. Fuck.

I don't actually have pictures of me in Pascagoula uploaded yet, but it's basically just shots of me building houses. It's kindov depressing to see how much Katrina damage is still out here.

I DO, however, have some pictures of our regular trips to New Orleans. I was there last weekend enjoying JazzFest 2007...(which was amazing). We got in for free because we were volunteers.

Anyway, life is good, and I'm almost positive that no one has read THIS far into this entry. If you made it all the way here, I'll seriously pay you $5. I miss you guys!

IMPORTANT SIDENOTE:
I'll be back in the bay from May 26th to June 3rd, and May 29th is my birthday. There will definitely be some San Francisco and some Alcohol in the works.

Where in the world is Nick Sandiego?

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 02:52:25 GMT

If the way I treat this Livejournal is any reflection of the way I'm going to treat my future kids, those kids are going to end up being crackwhores.

There's just far too much neglect.

HOWEVER, today I plan to write a LEGITIMATE update -- complete with personal details from my post-graduate life. I don't do this often, and, even now, part of me wants to turn and RUN from the screen. I'll try to calm myself, and, with a little luck, we can get through this.

I will be revealing:
1. What the hell I've been doing for the last 6 months (as I'm sure many of you have been wondering)
2. Where I will be for the next year or so

Here's the major events in chronological order..

TAKING THE LSAT
Studying for this thing was quite possibly the most PAINFUL experience of my life.
This was the image I saw day-in and day-out for two months straight:

How'd I do?
Well on the practice tests, I was hitting Ridiculously high scores. On the actual test, I scored a few points below what I expected.

There's two reasons for that:
A) The couple dry humping in the spa outside my hotel window until 5:30 in the morning. If they had just had sex, we could have ALL fallen asleep...and all been better off.
B) NERVES. The cure song "close to me" comes to mind.

ALCOHOLISM

After I took the test, I started binge drinking.
I think it's just human nature to want to fuck your body up as much as possible after you've completed something difficult. And I was no exception to the rule.

It was around this time that I became pretty savvy about navigating San Francisco. I had two brief stints with women that were on the verge of becoming relationships.

Of course, both girls hate me now.

I didn't do anything particularly wrong in either case, but I did a shitty job of explaining what I wanted and where I was coming from. That sort of thing should be done before you hook up. Lesson learned. C'est la vie.

INDIA
Surprisingly, I had a really good time here...despite the occasional lack of Hot Water/Electricity.

I have an alcoholic uncle who made SURE I was liquored up the entire time. The man had installed a mobile bar in the trunk of his car. At first, I thought this was really cool.

I later learned that he only started drinking after his wife died. That made the mobile bar officially tragic.

As much as Time Magazine wants you to believe that "India has changed," don't believe the hype. It's still REALLY poor.

In spite of the poverty, I thought a lot of downtown delhi was unconventionally beautiful.

Here's where I stayed. There were HOARDS of stray, rabid dogs roaming the area. I lived in constant fear.

The front porch is definately worth sharing

Here's some of my family, the happiest brown people on the planet. The little girl in the front row was my homie.

I think this picture really sums up how people treated me. I was some sort of strange, american oddity. Ironically, HE was the one wearing a bow-tie. I should have been giving him that look.

my cousin's wedding was held in THIS centuries-old temple.

Indians LOVE carrying lights. I could explain this further, but I think I'll leave it a mystery.

AMERICORPS
That pretty much brings us up to speed. On Tuesday, I officially become an Americorps NCCC.

What does That mean? I've basically sold my soul to a peacecorps-type organization for the next 10 MONTHS.

Apparently we're going to be spending a lot of time helping out with Katrina-Destroyed areas. But, really, it's a toss up. I could end up in any of the following states:

The GOOD news:
the projects are each 6-8 weeks long, and in between, I'll be living in dorms in Sacramento. So I won't be gone forever. and I'll probably still be able to see a lot of you occasionally.

Anyway, I MISS YOU ALL. (specifically the davis kids I haven't seen in forever)
and if anyone has read through ALL of that and can prove it, I'm seriously willing to buy you the drink of your choice.

Make the learning stop.

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Thu, 16 Feb 2006 15:24:08 GMT

I have a huge midterm in 3 hours...
SO I'm pulling an allnighter....
but instead of studying...
I drew this.

ONLY Moditup and Sivart13 Will appreciate this

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Thu, 02 Feb 2006 09:55:48 GMT

THIS is the entry that will ENSURE I never have sex again...
so long as I live...

now you THINK I'm exaggerating here...
but, honestly, the information I'm about to reveal is JUST as damaging as advertising a particularly persistent case of genital herpes.

What could such horrible news be?

Well...I must abashedly admit that
before I chose to double major in International Relations and Economics...
I minored in...the dreaded...

COMPUTER SCIENCE.

I can feel you all shrinking away from the screen in terror.

now, now, you jerk. PUT those stereotypes away...I've met QUITE a few computer scientists...
and they are NOT all completely reclusive...socially awkward..sober types...

okay..well, maybe they are...

here's a picture of me from that time in my life...

I've changed QUITE a bit.

(EDITORS NOTE:
BTW, this is all SARCASM. There is nothing inherently wrong with CS kids.
They are loveable and sexy just like anyone else.)

Anyway Back to what I was saying...
SO, why do I choose to reveal this now?
For the longest time...I thought all of the skills UC Davis taught me would NEVER go to use...

Until recently, I finally found a TRULY appropriate use for my $20,000 education...

I MADE A GAME..WHERE YOU SHOOT BABIES AT BIG-ASS ASTEROIDS...
and not only that...
it's available for YOU people to download!

Things to keep in mind:
A) Level 5 is the super secret Boss Level...
If anyone makes it there, comment with a screenshot...
you'll be the ENVY of all your peers!

B) My Highscore was 30,000...
If you can beat that, I will PERSONALLY treat you to a sushi buffet.

DOWNLOAD IT HERE.

Being Brown

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Sun, 04 Dec 2005 23:01:31 GMT

Oh god, another entry from HELL.

Honestly! Two within three weeks? This MUST be some sort of record for me.

I think it has to do with the fact that I am now BUSIER than I've ever been.
and like any truly busy person, I am doing all of the unnecessary bullshit I CAN!

AND, more than just that, I missed YOU, sweet internet friends.
I missed feeling your eyes on me, missed the way your hands run up and down my scroll bar...

ANYWAY, so what's this entry about?
Last week, when I was buying some socks at the mall, the cashier looked up at me and said "You remind me of Kumar from that movie!"

Now, I'm as much of a fan of that movie as anyone. I mean with lines like "Harold, I just found two filthy pussies just aching ot be fucked," you really can't go wrong. BUT, I don't look ANYTHING like Kumar. And this isn't the first time this has happened.

She, and others before her, just made the connection because:
A) I'm brown
B) I don't have a fobby accent.
Who else COULD I be other than Kumar?

I'm sure the rest of the brown community can relate.

I always get weird comparisons to token brown people in the media.

SO to get to the bottom of this, I've taken some photos...
This is a public poll!

Let's start with Kumar of Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

I used to get compared to this one all the time when my hair was dyed
Tony Kanal from No Doubt

I only get the comparison to this guy at FROGGIES for some reason
Kevie G from Mean Girls (Mathlete/Bad Ass MC)

Thanks for playing? I love you?

LOVE

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Tue, 22 Nov 2005 18:22:55 GMT

Every winter, I see the SAME pattern...my friends start to hook up, sometimes incestuously.

Those who say that spring is the season for love...are, well, full of shit. It's all about winter.

I think you horny bastards REALIZE you're going to be indoors for a while, and THUS,
you begin searching for that special someone you can "do" until February rolls around...

Not that I think this plan is terrible or anything;
it's probably the best plan I've ever heard.

ANYWAY, in honor of this phenomenon...I spent a little bit of time drawing several couples from davis..
This set of drawings is by no means comprehensive.

I still want to draw Rosa and Nate, Tiffany and RJ, and a hoard of others.

ALL of these drawings blow, but when I FIRST started...they particularly blew. Here is PROOF. These two are some of the coolest people I know though:
(*NOTE* THESE TWO ARE NOT DATING NOR DO THEY LOVE EACH OTHER IN REAL LIFE. I JUST DID IT BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY)

I tried to make them do something cute, but it looks like Travis is about to rape her...

If you've been following the Chaz and PY soap opera, then you know what this is about.

Notice how excited yet nervous she is...that's because he's not wearing underwear. and neither is she.

Only G would have the gall to stare at her boobs in a romantic drawing...

I've come a long way from that first drawing...

I realized after I was finished that this is a sad picture.

HAVE A FUN THANKSGIVING! I'LL MISS YOU.

Wouldn't it be a lovely headline, "Life is Beautiful" on the New York Times?

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Tue, 13 Sep 2005 03:56:25 GMT

WELL..well..well..

it's just the two of us here..alone..

and, might I add, you look lovely in the warm glow of the monitor...
God, the way the light attaches to your skin..

My nipples can't help but harden
and vibrate uncontrollably...

PLEASE..come closer..press your lips against the monitor...
YES. PRESS MY POWER BUTTON. FASTER. HARDER.

Okay. I don't know WHY I always lure you people here and treat you to really cheesy romance novel bullshit.

I know what you're thinking, "Look buddy..I've got plenty of porn stashed under my bed. Quit wasting my time and get to the point."

and YOU, sir, certainly have a point.

It has been some time since the LAST update, and I feel OBLIGATED to tell you how things are going. So let's take stock of my current situation:

1. I recently started shampooing and conditioning the pubes. Frankly, there is no reason for all of the neglect mankind imposes on this area of the body! If we can lavish the tops of our heads with attention, why should a simple scrub with the bar of soap cut it down there? (AND the results, might I add, are silky smooth!)

2. Everyone I know and love is graduating! So, I'm in need of new wonderful amazing friends to chill with for the following year. SO Mr. Acquaintance and Mrs. Not-So-Close-Friend, let's hang out next year and bond.(or else, I'll be lonely)

and FINALLY, this post has a special treat! About a year ago, My buddy Sean and I made a music video chronicling the loss of Bianca, my ex-girlfriend. Of course, it's just a music video so it isn't particularly serious. I'd say it's chock full of subtle wit and intelligent tomfoolery. So, make sure your thinking hat is squarely in place and download it with the link below.

(Note: don't wait for it to stream, just click download)

Darling don't you go and cut your hair

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Fri, 29 Apr 2005 11:43:22 GMT

in ALL honesty, its REALLY not even THAT long...
but it drives me crazy, I can't live like this

I feel like some sort of HAIRY APE that has managed to learn to use the internet....

and what's WORSE...I SWEAR people are treating me worse...maybe its all in my head...
but then again there is PROOF:

I bring your attention to exhibit A)

and "play" in this situation is referring to only MAKING OUT..
I haven't gotten laid in so long
I honestly WOULDN'T know what to do with a vagina if I saw one...
I'd probably run SCREAMING out of the room

I call the unknown factor that is RESPONSIBLE for this correlation: THE FOB FACTOR

Without a doubt I'm slowly turning into a Bollywood actor...

Let's take a look at India's beloved Sharukh Khan..and compare him to the current me

I've even been feeling this STRANGE urge to buy sunglasses lately..

But Thankfully, It all ends this sunday. I've booked an appoimtment with an ULTRA hip hair salon in San Jose...My stylist's name is "Nemesis" and NO, he doesn't have a last name...

Back from the DEAD (for a moment)

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Mon, 18 Apr 2005 07:34:07 GMT

SO

we meet again Live Journal....

I have such a love/hate relationship with this god-damn website

ONE minute I swear to never touch it again

the NEXT
I'm at it's doorstep
wearing nothing more than a slip
and a backpack full of condoms...

ohh but it can satisfy me in ways WOMEN never could
(no matter how hard they tried)
(no offense Bianca)

BUT this post DOES, in fact, have a point

in a 3AM fever of spontaneity, I baked a cake...
and I'm here to SHARE said cake with you cuties

That's blue-berry jello in the middle there

OH and the diving board is made out of a pink wafer(waffer)(sp?)
and yes I KNOW there is a spell check button...but I REFUSE to press it.

I'm KINDOV jealous of these teddy grahms...they look like they're having SO MUCH FUN.
(but only kindov...I mean...THEY don't have the ability to move their arms or legs)

There is really no explanation for the frosting...
if ANYTHING, its a winter pool party...
and these bears are retarded.

IDEAS for next time:
A) use black teddy bears and white teddy bears to create a racially segregated pool party
B) use strawberry jello, candles, and brimstone to create a "Hell" cake
C) yeaahh...there is no C

I MISS AND LOVE YOU INTERNET FRIENDS!

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Wed, 27 Oct 2004 07:59:59 GMT

NORMALLY, I don't update as often as this...

HOWEVER I am purposely trying to divert your attention AWAY from the bike stealling post...

obviously I ruffled a few feathers there, and IM GOING TO RETURN IT TOMORROW.

I've never felt guiltier in my life.
I'll also search for the pretty pink bike and return THAT too.

there! everyone is happy! I didn't so much STEAL them...as borrow them wihtout permission.

Now, for the promised story #2:

I should say, before I begin, that this story really lacks a plot/climax. So DON'T get your hopes up.

SO, lately, I have been experimenting with online dating...
I've been signing myself up for EVERYTHING I can. It started with daviscoeds, which actually panned out. I recieved a few messages from nice people, but I haven't really planned on ACTUALLY meeting anyone from the site. The appeal for siging up stemmed from:

1. playing the game of whos better off with my ex (not that we were even PLAYING that game, I just assumed we were)
2. general curiosity

But anyway, my curiosity went RAMPANT. and I started signing up for EVERY dating website I could. I am currently on: DavisCoeds, AdultFriendFinder, Shaadi.com(which, by the way, is the hindi word for MARRIAGE), and E-harmony.com

E-harmony actually required me to take an HOUR LONG personality test. WHICH I patiently did. The idea is that it will find the PERFECT match based on your personality and the science of coupling. After 60 minutes of horrible personal questions, I was able to FINALLY search for my soul mate.

So I set the finder to "within 10 miles of Davis,CA" and hit search. After a minute of searching...it showed "There is NO one that matches your personality in this area."

This was, obviously, pretty dissapointing...
but I'm an optimisitc guy. SO I changed the search to "within 50 miles of Davis,CA".

Still No Matches.

At THIS point, I was fully desperate. So I revised the search distance to ALL SEVEN CONTINENTS. I hit search, and waited a full 5 MINUTES while it scanned through the millions of people who had logged onto the website.

no matches.

Jesus Christ! What do they want from me?

on a side note, I wish I had a vagina because girls have the COOLEST masterbatory tools.

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Tue, 26 Oct 2004 05:35:37 GMT

okay LOOK you assholes

the entries are coming AS FAST as they can

Honestly, my life isn't exactly FULL of fun and adventure. It actually has quite a bit of LONGING for the past. But I won't delve into that. not here. not now. no, livejournal, I can't say a thing...not with all of THEM watching. But once we are alone...oooh the things I will do with you....

oh god LJ, you know what it does to me when you nibble on my ear...
ooh it feels so..sooo good...yes..YES YES LJ DON'T STOP PLEASE

AND now that I have ceremoniously gotten off,
I can begin the entry!

I actually have TWO stories to tell

#1.
SO last friday I tried to get home via our most honored, and respected UNITRANS bus system...but LITTLE did I know that after 7PM, the busses STOP completely.

I had two options
A) walk ALL the way to north davis
or B) Hitchhike

I chose Option C. STEAL some innocent fool's BIKE! After examining each bike at the tennis courts I discovered a Pretty Pink Bike with a little basket, a bell, and some tassels at the end of each handle bar. Unfortunately, the owner must have forgotten to lock it. I remember thinking, "SORRY PINKY, ITS MINE NOW!"

I rode the bike half way home before the TIRE popped. I know what you're thinking. Karma intervened. And it serves me RIGHT. However, the bike's tire went flat RIGHT in front of another unguarded, unlocked bike...WHICH I promptly ALSO stole. Thus, proving that Karma is a load of crap.

I really thought the ride home was going to be the GUILTIEST ride of my life. But honestly, I didn't feel altogether guilty.

Heres my thoughts in chronological order as I pedaled home:
1. Boy, this sure beats walking!
2. I should steal bikes all the time!
3. What if I stole bikes and SOLD them? I'd be RICH!
4. I'm tired.
5. I wish I was in a car.
6. I should steal cars!

Anyway, I made it home safe and sound! (in case you are wondering)
And I think my bike stealing phase is over.

I know I promised you another story...but I'll post it later this week.

THE RETURN of the journal

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Sun, 17 Oct 2004 03:09:20 GMT

I SWORE that I would never write in this wretched thing AGAIN....

but livejournal has SEDUCTIVE powers...that can not be denied...god, journal I'm sorry..I never should have left you...OH how you arouse me...you please me in ways my ex NEVER could...

why do my entries always start with me getting off?
but ANYWAY

Maybe you noticed all of the changes? NO MORE is there a GIANT creepy-ASS head staring at you....Instead...I stuck in a Picture of Jim Jarmusch and Tom Waits...

(chosen SPECIFICALLY to prove how fucking hip I am)

HOPEFULLY, I'll change what they are saying regularly
(for those of you who are seeing this through their friends pages...CLICK on my face...because I put WORK into making this look pretty)

SO what have i been up to lately?
oh just the usual, eatting cereal...drinking stuff...deliberately and conciously FLINGING myself from planes 13,000 feet in the air...

Yes, I went sky diving...
and I know people call it an "extreme" sport, but I don't think people emphasize how EXTREME it really is...

The whole process was a combination of worry, fear, adrenaline, and screaming (notice how I DIDNT use the word fun here). Its roughly the equivalent of turning up your stereo and then having a friend REPEATEDLY kick you in the balls (which is actually cheaper than sky diving...

There wasn't much real danger..considering a large muscular man strapped me to his chest and did all the work...I literally DANGLED from his chest while we walked to the plane....(hey, im a little guy)(little in a LOT of ways..IF ya know what i mean)

but, as I peered out of the OPEN door and the realization that 13,000 feet is REALLY FUCKING HIGH crept over me...I couldn't help but worry about smashing my head in...it didn't help that the guy's we were jumping with were assholes who would say things like, and I quote, "if you mess this up, we BOTH die"

But all in all It was well worth the experience

and now what you assholes are REALLY here for...the pictures (i'm sure you could care less what I have to say about the subject):

Here's me screaming in fear...
not only were we falling...we were SPINNING really fast

Here's how HIGH we were (we free fell for a minute straight)

This is where I lost my ability to have children (right when the parachute opened)

Me and my brightly colored friend AFTER landing

I REALLY should have LJ cut this...But I dont know how...teach me..please...

GUILT motivates me to update this.

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Wed, 23 Jul 2003 04:44:54 GMT

HOLY CRAP its been at LEAST one year since my last post...come closer, i've ached for your warm breath on the giant picture of my face...oh god, yes it feels so good...dont stop..faster..

anyway
NOW that ive gizzed all over my keyboard..

eeeeeessh THAT was way graphic..this journal is just getting dirtier and dirtier and its stopping HERE and now.

ignore ALL of that

lets begin again, shall we?
SO for those of you who dont know, i got the BIGGEST ticket of all time in my car a few weeks ago..

to summarize what i did..i was speeding at double the speed limit...in the lane going AGAINST traffic...while running a stop sign...

the cop SAW all of this, and pulled me over...and when he asked for liscense and registration...i accidentally handed him my fake ID

BASICALLY, im the worst driver of all time...
i broke at LEAST seventytwo laws with that ONE incident

and not only do i admit this, i have fully EMBRACED it...in fact i was TOTALLY looking forward to traffic school..like im STOKED about it, i WANT to learn how to stop hitting poles and other cars and cats and people and whatever

now thats all old news, but TODAY i recieved a list of approved yolo county superior court traffic schools in the mail

i opened it slowly EXPECTING to find a few places that could finally turn me into a REAL driver..

SERIOUSLY these are the names of the places they suggested (DIRECT quote from the mail they sent me):
PIZZA FOR YOU - COMEDIANS TRAFFIC SCHOOL
HUMORS MY NAME - TRAFFICS MY NAME SCHOOL
GREAT COMEDIANS TRAFFIC SCHOOL

the list went on FOREVER. i was pretty confused..so i called up one of them..and i could hear people laughing hysterically in the background..APPARENTLY the traffic schools in yolo county are all taught by COMEDIANS now..

we get free pizza and free passes to comedy clubs too

i think the moral is: bad drivers get to laugh and eat pizza for almost killing you

oh! and i have a digital camera now, so from now on my posts will have pictures too.

sometimes you just gotta feel someone

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Thu, 03 Jul 2003 08:22:40 GMT

it's either love or hate
I can't find in between
it wouldn't have worked out any way
so now it's just another lonely day

how true is that line about love or hate and no in betweens?

this isnt a real entry. ill probably erase it.
think of this like a B-side (i know all the indie
kids are nodding their heads in understanding right now)

BUT
anyway, i recently got hit with an attack of loneliness.
which sucks BALLS..i feel like chaz.
i hate everyone, and i hope all of the couples in the world
die horrible deaths. i hope on the 4th of july, the bottle rockets
all misfire and SHOOT into every happy couple..in a burst of colorfully
satisfying death.

im going on a road trip to santabarbara tomorrow
maybe ill have some stories when i get back in 3 days.

the post i will always regret.

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Wed, 25 Jun 2003 07:29:28 GMT

well, first of all i KNOW i havent posted in forever..
SORRY to those of you who actually care (even though NONE of you do, assholes)

SO much has happened, and i have stories to tell

BUT more importantly..today begins the slow transition of my livejournal from fun posts..to DEEPLY personal information that really no one should know, especially you.

Why the change? i figure if i have no secrets on this journal i wont have ANY secrets in real life THUS making me the most open person IN THE UNIVERSE.

now this is a big step...
and the only way i can do it is by revealing a HUGE secret right off the bat...

my penis size..
(i can actually feel the regret setting in right now...but whatever we are all adults here)

honestly i am NOT that big
It is a pain, i have dealt with my whole life..oh, how ive longed to fasten things to the end of it..maybe part of a frozen hot dog..anything to make it FANTASTIC
I'd say its slightly over 5 inches long..and its decently girthy

IN MY DEFENSE,
1) first of all i am a small PERSON in general..so, proportionally speaking, i think things are looking okay

kinda like how a pair of pants that shrank in the dryer would seem TOO small for you, but would be WAY too big for a squirrel

2) ALSO according to studies 5"-7" is considered average

3) apparently its all about the motion in the ocean...even though im not really sure how the hell my motion or ocean are doing

and in conclusion, what have i done?

el partio

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Sat, 07 Jun 2003 04:02:59 GMT

Throwing a party illegally at the Gazebo on saturday around 9:30 pm

COME! EVERYONE! who i consider a friend.

dont expect insane..
expect "chill"...

why not dress in something that youd feel ready to drink a martini in?
even though youre getting no martinis
just beer from a keg

long time, no see

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Wed, 04 Jun 2003 07:53:35 GMT

its seriously been SO LONG since i last posted on here..i think we are all a little different now..you seem a little older..a little wiser...i, too, have made some changes...where i once used to wear clothing, i now SMEAR my body with guacamole before going to school

and i really dont smear my body with guacamole

but i did miss all of you, i miss feeling your eyes undress me as you read this journal, i miss the random anonymous psycho comments i get

so what have i been up to?

Indian Formal
basically, ALL of the indian people at ucdavis got on a boat and got drunk. if this boat sank, the ENTIRE davis indian community would DIE (and NO, indian people cant swim.)

i was probably drunker than all of them, because of 1) a fake id and 2) my buddy G giving me waay too much money to buy alcohol with

i pretty much offended everyone with my beligerence
sample conversation from the night:
random indian girl: my boyfriend raj cheated on me!
DRUNKEN nick: hey! watch it, i dont want you crying on my taquitos

i eventually comforted her (after the taquitos were gone)

birthday
everyone was HELLOV loving, hugging, and nice to me. im surprised so many of you cared..especially since i expected to have the most nonexistant birthday ever. thanks for caring by the way.

i went out to dinner with my extended family that night..
my family is TOO weird and TOO dysfunctional

my mom had too many my thais and got drunk...
my dad well looks like james brown

dad

james brown

it was a chinese restaurant and my fortune cookie read "you need to call someone"...now..ive seen a vagueass fortune cookie before..but THIS was just ridiculous

ill talk about the gay and lesbian party and the coldplay concert in my next post...IF anyone cares

OH and my party is this saturday..look for more info HERE SOON..its still being planned

im going to marry a pair of boxer briefs

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Thu, 22 May 2003 10:49:48 GMT

Today i TOSSED away boring old plaid boxers for a pair of RACY, BLACK boxer briefs..

Like anyone, i had the usual, understandable fears:
Am i going to be impotent by the end of the day?
is "IT" going to shrink? (and trust me people, i really cant afford to lose a few more inches)
will people treat me differently?

Well, i definately was NOT impotent by the end of the day and im THANKFULLY the same size..but i DID notice i got treated a little differently--namely, all day the MU people would REPEATEDLY punch me in the face.

okay that didnt really happen, in FACT, the whole boxer brief thing was probably the best decision of my life (yes, my life is THAT sad). As soon as i slipped them on this morning, i felt an uncontrollable urge to dance..and all day i felt secure, like a good buddy was there for me no matter WHERE i went (a good buddy who is constantly holding up my package)...two thumbs up, fine holiday fun. everyone should switch..

SO next thursday is my birthday..im going to be TWENTY (20) YEARS old..officially making me the oldest man in uc davis...
i think im going to start wearing suspenders as soon as im older

birthdays are always exciting for me, and kinda sad..because im kindova floater, i never really formed ONE end-all close knit group of friends..so i cant really depend on anyone to take me out to dinner or do any of the regular stuff

not that i dont have close friends, there are a bunch of groups on campus that i totally LOVE..but anyway, if im going to have any fun..i think IM going to have to take the intiatiative and plan my OWN giant party and bring everyone together...lemme know if you guys have any ideas on how i can make my party unique

i am so hungover right now, ill tell you guys about it in the next post

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Sat, 17 May 2003 23:39:43 GMT

i am NO LONGER the hairest guy who lives in this apartment. and no, trevor didnt just randomly grow TONS of chest and back hair (which would be hellov weird and gross).

my cat is SICK so i drove all the way home to get him, and hes staying with us for a few days. Its best that he stays with me..i think he feels safe around me for some reason, even though i really doubt i could protect him from a DAMN thing.

if a fire broke out, id probably scream like a little girl and run into the wall. if some big dude broke in here and tried to kidnap the cat, id probably still scream like a little girl and run into the wall.

hes really doped up because of all the medicines i have to give him; but theres something cute about how he stumbles around and passes out randomly..

I felt pretty guilty about bringing him up here though...in the car, every once in a while hed let out the SADDEST meow ever...i dont even know what was making him so sad, ah well hell get over it (he should anyway)

i think i like animals more than i like people

next entry, i promise to delve into my emotions

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Thu, 15 May 2003 04:54:19 GMT

They say that davis is allergy capitol of the world. if THATS true, then i am the MAYOR of this WHOLE town. and ill be "raising taxes" if you know what i mean..

and that analogy sucks, i dont even remember what the HELL i was trying to say

my point is

i am seriously the boy with the WORST allergies in all of davis. Last night while i was sleeping, my eyes were getting drier and drier..and CRUSTIER and CRUSTIER..by the time i woke up, both of my eyelids were COMPLETELY sealed shut..i stood up and COULD NOT physically open my eyes...

it was probably the scariest moment of my life
i remember thinking, "it finally happened. i finally went blind."

i had to loosen up the crust with warm water...and had to find my way to the bathroom by sticking my hands out and groping whatever was nearby...thank goodness i keep beautiful naked women laying around (i dont really)(which you already knew)(because i am the loneliest man ever)

also my nose is runny, im sneezing, my throat is sore, yadayada, my life basically sucks

so i tried to deal with the whole allergy thing by buying hellov medicines...today alone i have eaten:
4 allerest allergy pills
3 tablespoons of day quil
2 anti histamine pills
1 prescription strength claritan pill
1 tylenol cold/sinus pill

that was in the LAST 12 hours...im like some horrible drugged out milkshake

none of the medicines are working either...
this isnt like the movies, there are no happy endings in real life

holy crap, waay too many comments on my first entry

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Sun, 11 May 2003 07:55:19 GMT

Today, May 10th, marked a special day...

it was
1) my parents wedding anniversary
and
2) my 6 week vegetarian anniversary

coincidence? i think not. actually yeah its a coincidence
i feel like i should give an eggplant a promise ring or something..
or at least take it out to dinner...and then have sex with it?

AND ive gone TOO far..

but anyway, this whole vegetarian thing spurred out of trevor ranting about animals rights and this HORRIBLE video of a pig being beaten. heres my assesment of what its like:
1) its REALLY not that hard, people who complain are just whiney..
2) you CANT eat at restaurants without settling for some halfassed lettuce crappything
3) you feel really moral, more so than you really are
4) people get mad at you for being vegetarian a lot--which i really didnt expect AT ALL

six weeks down, 5 BILLION to go.

OH! as far as an update on how im doing from last time: im HEALING, and considering growing a beard.

My Problems Are So Much Crappier Than People In Africa's

arora.sidarth@gmail.com — Fri, 09 May 2003 09:51:58 GMT

Nair RUINS lives.

I am obsessed with shaving, THE PERFECT shave has been my life long goal since I was at least 5 years old. Yes, i shaved when i was 5 years old (Indian people are THAT hairy).

i suppose "being hairy" is kindova huge insecurity that i deal with daily, but enough dysfunction..in DUE time ALL of that will surface..

After HOURS of research, i boiled it down to a few key steps(which involves some weird ass tools (brushes, baking powder, etc))..and i GOT that shave, oh that sweet sweet beautiful close shave. Once, a tough leatherclad man in a motorcylce seriously pulled over and rubbed his rough hands against my cheek as he WEPT...becaause it was that smooth.

BUT THEN: dissaster struck
to make a long story short, the hairs would kinda curl as they grew out, and would GROW BACK INTO MY SKIN.
the result is facial HELL

TODAY, i tried to deal with this CRISIS..i heard about a MAGICAL POTION named "nair" that would disolve hair by an ACT OF GOD. it sounded too good to be true.

i akwardly bought the stuff at Riteaid, repeatedly asserting my manlihood by talking about the latest porn magazine and football game with the cashier, and took the pink bottle home.

it felt like a werid ass christmas as i unwrapped and opened my bottle..

the smell: imagine vanilla mixed in with some basil..and a DEAD MAN'S BODY
the texture: kinda lotiony
the taste: fantastic! (I didnt actually eat it though, im just kidding)

So i excitedly smeared a huge half inch thick layer onto my face
four minutes later, it was SHEER pain
i rinsed all of it off with warm water, as my vision started to fade

the aftermath:
the hair was still there, what remains are DEEP red chemical burns

I will be hiding for the next couple days, in order to recover.